Bishounen Adoption Agency
by TheInsaneDuet
Summary: Have you ever wanted a bishounen? Upset that there isn't a place to adopt them? Well now there is! Come on over the the Bishounen Adoption Agency and adopt your bishounen today!


Disclaimer:  We don't own any people from the anime shows, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Aerosmith or any other things that you know do not belong to us.

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**_Bishounen Adoption Agency _**

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**Sirus:** *sits at receptionist desk, staring at the wall*

**Phone:** *rings*

**Sirus:** *picks up the phone* Bishounen Adoption Agency, how may I help you?

**Caller #1:** I'd like to adopt a Bishounen.

**Sirus:**  Really now?  Well, that's probably why you called here.

**Caller #1:** Yes, but he must be hot.

**Sirus:** Yes, that's why he's a _bishounen._

**Caller #1:** Well, I want a bishounen.

**Sirus:** You know what?  Your stupid, therefore no bishounen for you! Bye bye!

**Caller #1:** But...

**Sirus:** *hangs up the phone*

**Customer #1:** *walks through the door* Good morning.  I would like to adopt a bishounen.

**Sirus:** *twitches* Fine.  Nemesis!  NEMESIS!

**Nemesis:** *walks out of secret room* Yes!

**Customer #1:** I want a blonde bishounen.

**Nemesis:** Do you have a preference?

**Customer #1:** He has to be blonde.

**Nemesis:** What show dumbass?

**Customer #1:** Gravitation...I want Yuki.

**Nemesis:** Sorry, he's taken. *pushes customer out of the window*

**Sirus:** *now wearing a paperclip crown* That wasn't very nice. *picks up ringing phone* Hello?

**Caller #2:**  Hello.  I would like to purchase a bishounen.

**Sirus:** -___-' You can't purchase a bishounen!  This ain't no freaking department store!  Now would you like to adopt a bishounen?

**Caller #2:** Okay...

**Sirus:** Okay, but you must be prepared to pay a fee.

**Caller #2:**  Then wouldn't it be a purchase?

**Sirus:** No...

**Caller #2:** Okay...I think I'll call back later.

**Sirus:** Okay...Bye bye! *hangs up* What a weirdo...ALTOIDS!!!

**Nemesis:** No altoids for you.

**Trowa:** Can I get out of the closet?

**Nemesis:** No...It's my hiding place for you.

**Phone:** *rings*

**Sirus:**  Hello?  Bishounen Adoption Agency, how may I help you?

**Mystery Caller X, who sounds a lot like ChaChaChica:**  Shh!  Don't speak!  Is this a secure line?  *looks around furtively*

**Sirus:** Maybe?  Do you want to adopt a bishounen?

**ChaChaChica:**  Oops, wrong number.  Oh well! I'll adopt one anyway!  Do you have one with doggy ears, white hair, and red clothes?

**Sirus: ???** Do you have access to security cameras? We just got one of those.

**ChaChaChica:** Security cameras?? *fidgets nervously* What security cameras? I don't know about the security cameras right above the entrance to the warehouse...

**Nemesis:** Dammit Shido...get back in the box.  

**Sirus:** @__@ I knew it!  You work for the government.

**Nemesis:** Down with Tito...I mean government.

**ChaChaChica:** Government?! Where?! *looks around frantically, ducks as people in suits walk by* AHHHH! CIA AGENTS!!!  I knew they were looking for me! Dog-boy in red clothes, slice 'em in half.

**Sirus:** *currently hiding from CIA agents...with a lifetime supply of poptarts*

**Nemesis:** SIRUS!!! Where are my poptarts?!

**Sirus:** *has already eaten _all_ the poptarts in the building*

**ChaChaChica:** *hides the poptarts she stole from Sirus*

**Nemesis:** AHHHHHHHHHH!!! IT'S BACK!!!

**Sirus:** *sniffs around* I smell...poptarts. Grr...

**Nemesis:** Board up the windows...lock the doors...head for Iceland.

**ChaChaChica:** *grabs her secret supply of poptarts and heads for Iceland*

**Sirus:**  L 

**Customer:** *walks in*

**Sirus:** *barks at customer* Leave! Head for Iceland! The gypsies are coming!

**Nemesis:** It's worse then the gypsies...IT'S A COW!!!

**ChaChaChica:** *comes in wearing parka with a polar bear on a leash* I'm back! I had to come back because I ran outta poptarts.  Now give me Inu-Yasha!

**Sirus: ??** Je ne parle pas la anglaise.

**ChaChaChica:** NO! Not an anglaise! Inu-Yasha!!!

**Nemesis:** No hablo ingles.

**ChaChaChica:** NO! Not hablo! Inu-Yasha!

**Sirus:** Non Inu-Yasha pour tu!

**Nemesis:** Inu-Yasha es Hellion's!

**ChaChaChica:**  Hey! I am Hellion! What is you dysfunction?  I am Hellion so he is mine! MINE!!!

**Nemesis:** Tu es stupido.

**Sirus:** Nemesis tu es bete...et je n'aime pas tu!

**Nemesis:** Tu es enferma Nazi bastardjo.

**Sirus:** Va....

**Nemesis:** Riiight...

**ChaChaChica:** Don't make me whip out the Korean!! MY INU-YASHA!!! MINE I SAY!!! MINE!!!

**Nemesis:** Hello...welcome to Bishounen adoption agency, how may I help you?

**ChaChaChica:** *grabs head in frustration* AHHH!!! INU-YASHA...MINE!!! *calmly* I've come to adopt a doggy boy with doggy ears, white hair, and gold eyes, wearing red clothes and carries a wicked awesome sword...

**Nemesis:**  Okay...*goes into back room and pulls out Inu-Yasha*...that will be 50 bishounen chips.

**Sirus:** Yum! Bisho chips.

**Inu-Yasha:** Hey you fu***** bastards.  Why are you fu***** selling me.  You cant do that you stupid piece of s***!

**ChaChaChica:** Yay! Mine!...what are bishounen chips?

**Nemesis:** Just give me 50 yen.

**ChaChaChica:** Okay!  *hands over yen and pulls out leash* *puts leash on Inu-Yasha*

**Inu-Yasha:** You b****! What the hell do you think you're doing? 

**ChaChaChica:** *croons* Come on...be a good boy...lets go for a walks.  *leaves pulling Inu-Yasha behind her*

**Sirus:** Bye bye!  Don't come back.

**Shido:** *walks out of secret room*  Nemesis, where is hell is my hairbrush? *swipes at the little fairy follower thingy* And get this damned thing away from me.

**Nemesis:** Fine. *traps fairy follower thingy in a jar*  Here's your hairbrush. *hands him hairbrush* And you're the only damned one in this room.

**Shido:** -____-'''''''

**ChaChaChica:** *walks back in, disguised as a man with Inu-Yasha behind her, disguised as a women*

**Sirus:** Dude looks like a lady!  And that lady looks like a dude!  Attack of the transvestites!

**Inu-Yasha:** *has tape over his mouth* Mphf m buh m phes!!!

**ChaChaChica:  ***in a gruff** voice* Don't mind him—I mean, her.  She's just excited. *pats Inu-Yasha's head* He I—I mean, she, wishes to adopt another—I mean—A bishounen.**

**Sirus:** This is disturbing.

**Nemesis:** Okay...does *she* know who *she* wants?

**ChaChaChica:** Yes he-she does.  She wants a perverted monk.

**Sirus:** @_@ HEY!

**Inu-Yasha: ***eyes widen and then glares* Nmph leemph domp wanna!!

**Nemesis:** And the name would be what?

**ChaChaChica:**  His name is Miroku. *leans forward and listens* She's got a bit of a crush on him. 

**Inu-Yasha:** *eyes widen again* *kicks ChaChaChica*

**ChaChaChica:**  Damn it, forgot about his-her good hearing.  You wouldn't happen to have a rope, would ya?  I need to tie down my girlfriend.

**Inu-Yasha: ***kicks ChaChaChica*

**Sirus:** *in mask* I, the masked avenger will not let Miroku fall into the hands of crossdressing fiends!

**Nemesis:** -___-''''' Okay....

**Sirus:** Happy happy joy joy Pam like cheese and cat toys!

**ChaChaChica:** Hey! I'm not a crossdresser! He is! *points to Inu-Yasha* I mean she! I mean, not crossdresser! That's how she always looks! (A/N: Nemesis: And it ain't pretty)

**Inu-Yasha: ***kicks ChaChaChica*

**ChaChaChica:** Ouch...now I want, I mean, SHE, wants Miroku!

**Inu-Yasha:** *kicks her again*

**Sirus:** Crossdresser alert! *red lights flash* Guess what I'm not wearing....socks! HAHA!

**ChaChaChica:** My girlfriend wants Miroku.  Don't ask why.  It's a secret.

**Inu-Yasha:** *kicks her again*

**ChaChaChica:** What is your problem? You know you want him sweetie...

**Inu-Yasha:** *kicks her over and over again*

**Sirus:** Miroku is not for sale.

**ChaChaChica:** AHHHHHHHHH! MUST. HAVE. MIROKU.  *goes into must-have mode and runs around in circles while Inu-Yasha tries to sneak away* *pulls on leash again* Hey! Where are you going?

**Nemesis:** Riiiight...you two are boring now. *pushes ChaChaChica and Inu-Yasha into garbage shoot*

**Sirus:** *pushes Nemesis in after them* Now I'm in trouble.  Maybe I should hide. *runs into wall, passes out*

**Nemesis:** *walks back into office and see Sirus* ^______^ *picks her up and throws her in closet and locks her in there* She's all yours Kale!

**Kale:** It's about time too!

**Nemesis:** Have fun! *walks away leaving Sirus in closet*

**Sirus:** X__X *is still unconscious*

**Customer:** *walks in* I'd like a bishounen.

**Nemesis:** Really...I never would have guessed.

**Customer:** He needs Persian blue eyes.

**Nemesis:** *figures out who customer is* Do you have a show preference?

**Customer:** Gundam Wing...

**Nemesis:** Sorry Relena...You can't have Heero.

**Customer also known as Relena:** But I must have him.

**Nemesis:** Too bad.

**Relena:** *leaves*

**Nemesis:** *head in hands* I need an aspirin. *leaves room in search of aspirin*

**Cat:** *walks in after Nemesis leaves* Hello?

**Phone:** *rings*

**Sirus:** PHONE!!! *runs to answer phone* *runs into closet door* Owwie... *opens door and runs to phone* Hello?

**ChaChaChica:** *disguising her voice to sound like an old lady* Heello... I would like to adopt Miroku.

**Sirus:** *knows who its is* Goku?

**ChaChaChica:** Goku? No no no....I said Miroku.

**Sirus:** No shoe? But...I have shoes.

**ChaChaChica:** *in normal voice* NO!!! I SAID MIROKU!!!

**Sirus:** Bye! *hangs up*

**Nemesis:** *walks into room* Phone call?

**Sirus:** ChaChaChica... *reads Akari manga*

**Nemesis:** Ahhhh... *looks and sees Cat* Hey Cat.

**Cat:** Hey!

**Nemesis:** Ya here for Yuki?

**Cat:** Yup.

**Nemesis:** Okay...gemme a minute to go get him.

**Cat:** Okay...

**Nemesis:** *walks through door marked G*

**Cat:** *to Sirus* That a good manga?

**Sirus:** *sings the goldfish jingle*

**Cat:** -____-''''' Riiight....

**Nemesis:** *walks out of room talking to Yuki*

**Yuki:** So I get to leave?

**Nemesis:** *nods*

**Yuki:** *walks up to Cat* You the one taking me?

**Cat:** *nods* 

**Yuki:** Let's go. *walks out dragging Cat*

**Phone:** *rings*

**Sirus:** moshi moshi

**Caller:** Yes, I'd like to adopt two bishounens.

**Sirus:** Okay...their names please?

**Caller:** Heero and Van.

**Sirus:** Hold please?

**Caller:** Sure thing.

**Sirus:** *puts down phone* Nemesis...over the phone...do I need the name of the adoptee?

**Nemesis:** Yes Sirus...how else are we going to know who to give them too?

**Sirus:** Finger printing?

**Nemesis:** No...

**Sirus:** Okay... *picks phone up* I need your name too.

**Caller:** Iurka Yuywell.

**Sirus:** Come by in an hour.

**Iurka Yuywell:** Okay. *hangs up*

**Sirus:** *hangs up*

**Nemesis:** Who was that?

**Sirus:** Some girl named Iurka Yuywell.

**Nemesis:** Okay...who did she want?

**Sirus:**  *making paperclip jewelry to go with paperclip crown* Heero and Van.

**Nemesis:** Okay...*goes in back room to get Heero and Van*

**Sirus:** *finishes paperclip cape* I'm royal.

**Nemesis:** Yeah...a royal ass with no ass.

**Sirus:** Hey! Leave my almost ass alone.

**Nemesis:** -____-'''' Yes your hien-no-ass.

**Duo:** Can I adopt a bishounen?

**Nemesis:** No, you can't Duo.

**Duo:** Why?

**Nemesis:** Because you are one of the very bishounens that some fangirl, authoress, or otuka might want to adopt.

**Sirus:** NO! *glomps Duo* MINE!!!!

**Duet:** *walks through door, detaches Sirus from Duo, and leaves dragging Duo behind her*

**Sirus:** Ohhh...*lowers head*

**Nemesis:** Thank god...it might get quieter!

**Computer: ***beeps*

**Nemesis: ***goes to check computer* Hey! I have mail! *checks mail* -___-''''

**Email from Duo: **I AM NOT LOUD!!!!

**Sirus: **-___-''' *falls* *thud*

**Customer: ***walks through door* I'm here to pick up my bishounens.

**Nemesis: **Did you order any bishounens?

**Customer: **Yes...under the name Iurka Yuywell.****

**Nemesis:** Okay...let me go get them. *goes into back room*

**Iurka Yuywell:** Okay...I can wait.

**Nemesis:** *comes out with Heero and Van*  Here ya go.

**Heero and Van:** *grab Iurka Yuywell and drag her out the door*

**Sirus:** *flys out the window*

**Nemesis:** -___-''''

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End Note: More coming soon!


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